


New Year's Eve

by queergirlElle



Series: you & me forever [5]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Internal Monologue, New Year's Eve, One Shot, Sad, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:27:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22037782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queergirlElle/pseuds/queergirlElle
Summary: It was New Year’s Eve when Lena tried to end her life-A short story about Alex being Lena’s guardian angel (metaphorically) and Lena overcoming her own demons.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Lena Luthor
Series: you & me forever [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1296647
Comments: 9
Kudos: 162





	New Year's Eve

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who’s still alive! Did you miss me?  
> I wrote this story last year but then didn’t post it because I wasn’t sure how well I’m handling the topic of suicide (I’m still not entirely sure about it). But I edited it and added a lot of parts and now it got way too long and doesn’t really have much to do with the initial “New Year’s Eve” topic but let’s just roll with it.  
> (If you’re unhappy with the way I’m portraying this topic please tell me. I want to write this as well as I can.)  
> Also, this is not my typical style of writing either, so feel free to tell me what you think about it. (I don't really know what to think about it myself.)
> 
> Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts

It was New Year’s Eve when Lena tried to end her life.

Lena spent her Christmas Eve like every year. Avoiding her family for as long as possible and instead dropping of some presents at the Metropolis Children’s Hospital. Even if her year had been going downhill from the very beginning, she liked to keep some routine within what she was doing.

“Good morning,” she greeted the woman at the front desk. “I’m here to drop off some toys for the kids.” 

The woman eyed her warily and then flicked her eyes over the mountain of presents Lena was carrying. 

“Okay, let me just call someone,” she answered and turned away. 

By now, Lena was used to the looks that people gave her in the streets. Being the sister of a serial killer and a part of the most hated family in America brought that with it. But being used to it didn’t mean that it didn’t affect her. She forced a polite smile onto her face as the woman told her she could go through.

Every year on Christmas Eve, Lena brought the kids at the hospital some gifts. Usually, she visited them at least once a month but with all that had happened, she simply didn’t feel capable anymore. It didn’t bring her the joy it used to. Most parents hid their kids away when they saw her coming. They wrinkled their noses at her and whispered behind her back. It had gotten worse since her brother’s conviction. She rarely got to see happy faces around her ever since.  
And after the incident that had happened at her lab a few weeks ago, she even had a hard time forcing a fake smile onto her face. If it wasn’t for the kids, Lena wouldn’t have left the house at all.

Lena was about to start handing out the presents to the children, when a nurse pulled her aside. 

“Look Miss Luthor, we’re very thankful for your donations every year but…,” the woman cleared her throat and looked away for a second. “Don’t take it personal, but maybe you shouldn’t come by anymore.”

Just for a second Lena let her facial expression slide and stared at the nurse in shock and confusion.

“It’s just that with your family’s reputation right now the parents don’t feel at ease with letting you have contact with their children. You know how it is.”

Lena didn’t know how it was. It took her a few seconds to even register what had been said, but when the information had finally reached her brain, she quickly collected herself and stiffly nodded. Almost forcefully, she pushed the gifts into the nurse’s hands and stormed off a second later.

As soon as Lena got home, she opened her most expensive whiskey and drowned her feelings in alcohol. Not that her apartment ever felt like home. It was too cold and too quiet. An internal designer picked everything out for her after she’d decided to move out of her parent’s house. In retrospect, not being with her thoughts would’ve been what she needed.

There was nothing left in this world that gave Lena any comfort. She didn’t have any friends left, not after everything that had went down with Lex. She didn’t have a job or literally anything that brought her joy.

Lena was never one to give up. On anything. Lillian had helped her memorize that over and over again. Luthor’s didn’t give up. Not that she had ever really accepted Lena as a part of the Luthor family, but apparently, she had still had to act the part as well as she could. But after all these years spent in solitude and sadness, Lena was running out of other options.

It was New Year’s Eve. Another year was over and Lena was tired of it all. She spent the evening shaking hands with some of Metropolis’ most influential people, making small talk that made her stomach turn. After escaping from a particularly touchy older man, she decided to settle down and the bar for a while and got herself another glass of whiskey. These events were the worst. She looked around the room and for a moment she whished she could buy happiness, because if it had a price, she would certainly have enough money to buy it. 

Lena quickly downed her whiskey and ordered another one before she decided to escape the party. All these fake smiles and the constant backstabbing made her feel sick.

She nervously fidgeted with her fingers as she waited for the elevator to arrive. She didn’t know if she wanted someone to stop her or not. She wasn’t even sure about what she was doing, where she was going. She only knew that she needed to get out of there. Out of this place, out of this skin.

As she took the elevator to the highest floor, her skin prickled in anticipation. She took a large sip from the drink that was still in her hands and tried to calm herself down. This wouldn’t be giving up. This would be a way out.

She stepped out of the elevator and climbed the last few steps towards the roof, hoping that the door wouldn’t be locked. Her unspoken question got answered when, in the same moment, someone opened the door from the other side and ran right into her.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry,” Lena cursed loudly as she spilled her drink all over the stranger.

“Fuck,” the woman mumbled. “Good that I decided to wear all black, I guess.” And then she looked up and gave Lena a weird smile.

“I can pay for it!”

“It’s alright, just buy me a drink later and we’re even,” she said and was already heading down the steps. And after a few seconds she had disappeared into the elevator.

A soft “huh” escaped Lena’s lips as she figured out exactly why the woman had looked so weird. This must have been the first genuine smile she had seen in months. 

Trying to focus back on the reason she came here for, Lena stepped out into the chilly night air. She’d always loved looking over the city like that. That night, she had a hard time focusing on it, because some tears had welled up in her eyes.  
So this was it. Somehow, she had expected this moment to be more meaningful. She downed the last few drops that were left from her drink before she placed her glass on the floor and stepped to the edge. Lena slowly closed her eyes, trying to think about something peaceful. 

Suddenly, she heard a weird noise and opened her eyes again. She looked around and her eyes fell on a phone, lying only a few feet away from her. It was about to vibrate itself off the wall. Just as Lena walked over to grab it, the call stopped. The screen showed _4 missed calls from Mom_. Lena sure as hell could relate to that.  
Suddenly, her thoughts went back to the redheaded woman she had met only a few minutes ago. This had to be her phone! Lena groaned. She didn’t know what to do. Just leave it here and ignore it? Or go back down and try to find her? Memories of a genuine smile were all she needed to be convinced. 

Lena grabbed the phone and her empty glass and made her way back down the stairs. She threw one last glance at the skyline in front of her. 

Tonight wasn’t the night to take that way.

Lena went back to the party, trying to find her. But nobody seemed to have seen a woman with long red hair and a black dress. No matter where she looked, the woman was gone. And so were Lena’s plans for the night.

\- 4 Years later –

Lena had expected that owning a company was hard work, but it were the small things that were irritating her. Who would’ve thought that renaming a company would be that complicated? Everybody on the internet accused her of having an evil plan and death threats weren’t anything new. She had hoped it would be better here. Starting new on the other side of the country in National City. But her reputation preceded her as usual.

At least this time she had someone on her side. Kara Danvers had come to interview her a few days ago and they’d somehow grown close quickly. Too quickly for Lena to even properly process the feeling of having someone on her side again.  
Kara was the reason that Lena felt good about her work for the first time in ages. She knew there would always be people who thought she was just like her brother, she just didn’t care about them anymore.

As Lena stepped onto the stage to officially announce the renaming of her company, she felt confident. But as usual, she didn’t get past “Good Morning Ladies and Gentlemen,” before a bomb started to go off right behind her. There was no time to process what was happening. People started running around and screaming and Lena tried to get off the stage to seek cover as quickly as possible. 

Before she even noticed it, she found herself face to face with a gun. She froze in her movements, not feeling able to move at all. Her breath got stuck in her throat. It all happened too fast but too slow at the same time. There wasn’t even a second for Lena to think about the possible outcome of this situation before a woman stepped in and overpowered the assassin. He dropped his gun and Lena finally left her stupor and picked it up while they wrangled. The man had the woman by her neck, screaming at her. Lena’s body ran on autopilot and she didn’t even think before she pulled the trigger.  
He instantly let go of the woman and sunk down to his knees. The woman turned around to put pressure on the wound and yelled something at Supergirl, who had just arrived. Lena let out the breath she had been holding and dropped her arms to her side. Her eyes flicked over to the woman still bend over the assassin. There seemed to be something familiar about her, but Lena couldn’t place where it came from. She met Lena’s eyes and the brunette was without doubts that she had seen her before.  
There wasn’t much time for her to think about it because more police officers arrived, taking the gun from her hands and helping the injured man into the ambulance. 

Lena looked around again a few seconds later, but the woman was gone.

For the next few days, the redhead was everything on Lena’s mind. She knew that she’d met that woman before but she couldn’t tell where or when. It drove her crazy that she kept thinking about her.  
It wasn’t until a few days later, that she actually met her again. Way sooner than she had ever expected. She had been on her way to visit Kara, but when the blonde opened, there was someone else in her apartment.

Lena couldn’t even contain her excitement as she stepped inside. The redhead smiled at her and instantly Lena was flooded with memories of a certain night she’d rather not think about. It was the same captivating smile right in front of her. She felt herself freeze again, unable to cope with the situation.

“I know you. You saved my life… twice.” She mumbled the last part under her breath but the woman still gave her a curious look.

“Agent Alex Danvers, FBI.” She said with a firm handshake and a smile.

“She’s my sister,” Kara proudly declared, but Lena only seemed to have eyes for Alex.

“Did you say twice?” Alex asked, but was promptly interrupted when her phone rang. 

Lena was relieved that she could avoid this topic for a while. She was too overwhelmed with everything that had happened that she almost forgot why she even got to Kara’s apartment in the first place. 

Alex sadly had to leave after the call, but Lena was sure she’d see her again.

After that day, it didn’t take quite as long until she met Alex again. She was present at some of her open conferences, because Kara had asked her sister to watch out for Lena (which Lena thought was heartwarming). And even though they didn’t talk much, Lena still had the feeling that Alex liked her more than she would care to admit.  
What nobody needed to know was that Alex was also ever-present in Lena’s mind as the young Luthor replayed _that_ night over and over again. She still wasn’t sure how she’d ended up where she was now, but she was thankful for it anyway.

A few weeks later Lena got invited to her first game night, which got her into a full panic mode, because she had no idea about how to act around people of her age. Even more confusing was the fact that Lena had even befriended Kara, the impersonation of sunshine. But somehow it had happened and Lena felt like a little kid as she tried being a great friend while secretly crushing on Kara’s older sister.  
She hadn’t known that it was a crush at first, she’d just thought it was a weird obsession, clearly, because Alex had saved her life, but it wasn’t like that. Lena found herself nervous at the thought of meeting Alex, even if it was in a huge group of friends. They never spend time one on one and it was a good thing, because Lena would probably faint of being a gay mess. But she found herself drawn to the redhead, always hoping Alex would laugh at her jokes, internally begging for Alex to like her.

So yes, this definitely was a crush, a big one.

When Lena found out that Alex was dating a cop, she was devastated. When she first saw that it was a hot lady cop, she felt even worse. Of course, Alex would date someone intelligent and beautiful. Lena wasn’t a big fan of Maggie, for obvious reasons, but she tried to hide her pain as much as possible. She tried to be happy for them because they were clearly crazy about each other. It didn’t help.

This game went on for months. Lena pretending that everything was alright while she was slowly dying inside. At least this time she still had Kara and other things she could use as a distraction. Kara kept constantly dragging her out for spontaneous lunch or a girls night and it helped Lena feel more at ease with herself. And to distract her. 

That was until one night, when Alex and Maggie invited everyone to the bar. Alex had personally called her while she was at work and it made Lena feel all tingly that Alex had thought of her. Usually, Kara was the one to invite her over to game nights or karaoke nights or anything else.  
But when Lena got there, it took exactly one minute and 25 seconds for her heart to drop through the floor. 

“Maggie and I are engaged!” Alex screamed out. “We’re getting married in summer.” 

Everyone around then erupted in cheers and gratulations. Lena felt sick as she watched Alex kiss her _fiancée_ , who proudly showed everybody the ring on her finger. They were engaged and there was Lena’s last chance, floating away. Everyone was so happy and excited and Lena had to force herself to smile. She congratulated both of them before gulping down her wine. No one seemed to notice how she got to the bar to get something stronger. 

The party was cut short only half an hour later, because Maggie got called in to work. Apparently, there had been a new lead in her case and she had to leave immediately. The others stayed around for a few more drinks. Lena felt bad that she was happy about their party ending early.

“Hey, are you okay?” Alex asked as she sat down next to Lena at the bar. Kara had just left, so it was only the two of them. They still rarely spend time without Kara or the other’s present, and Lena didn’t know if this was weird or not.

“Just had a tough week,” Lena said. It wasn’t really a lie but also not really the truth.

“Can I drive you home?”

Lena looked up to meet Alex’s friendly eyes. She couldn’t handle this. She couldn’t handle seeing this smile without breaking into tears. Still, for some reason she agreed and downed her scotch. 

Getting up from the bar stool turned out tougher than she had expected. Her legs were wobbly and she could feel the amount of alcohol she had downed.

Alex guided her outside and placed a hand onto Lena’s back. The brunette jumped away from the touch and Alex instantly put her hand down and mumbled a “sorry.”  
Lena wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, that she liked the touch, but she couldn’t and then it seemed too late for it to not be weird.

They sat in silence in the car and Lena was dreaming. It wasn’t uncomfortable. Alex threw her concerned looks every now and then. Lena noticed but didn’t say anything. It looked as if Alex genuinely cared about her. That feeling was foreign to her. Of course, she had Kara, but with Kara it was different. She somehow made her way into Lena’s life with her smile and sunshine. Alex on the other hand, she was darker, more reserved with a cool, older sister attitude. It seemed weird that someone like Alex would like her. People like Alex were usually the ones who told their little siblings to stay away from Lena. And now she was driving her home into the opposite part of town, without even questioning it.

Lena could feel the first tear running down her cheeks and she wasn’t even sure why exactly she was crying. It just felt as if everything was too much for her right now. She didn’t notice that they stopped in front of her building until Alex got out of the car. She opened the door for Lena with a concerned smile, which made Lena cry even more.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Alex reassured her over and over again as she helped her out of the car and guided her inside. This time she asked before putting her hand onto Lena’s back and the brunette simply nodded. They passed the doorman, who seemed a little worried. Lena didn’t want him to think anything weird about her, but right now she had bigger problems.

“Which floor?” Alex asked.

“Penthouse.”

“Of course.”

The way she said it sounded friendly, she wasn’t mocking her. But Lena was thinking way too much right now. She wished that at least the tears would stop, but they didn’t.

Alex guided her inside and managed to locate her bed. Lena kicked off her shoes and dropped into bed the way she was. Alex looked though the bathroom drawers until she found makeup wipes, which she handed to Lena. The brunette had already forgotten about her makeup. She probably looked hideous after crying so much. At least her face felt better after cleaning it.

Alex smiled as Lena finally settled down. The redhead put the blanket over her and whished her a good night.

“You’re my guardian angel,” Lena mumbled just as Alex wanted to leave the room. “You always save my life.”

Alex smiled and before she could close the door behind herself, Lena had fallen sleep.

Waking up, Lena cursed herself for sleeping in her tight dress. She felt restricted in her movement and couldn’t breathe. She got up and shrugged out of it, before heading to the kitchen in her underwear.

“Good morning,” someone said and Lena jumped a little, letting out a tiny squeak.

There was Alex, sitting at her kitchen counter, sipping some coffee and Lena couldn’t do anything but stare at her. She was frozen until she remembered that she had nothing on. She blushed and grabbed a blanket from the couch to wrap it around her body. She felt embarrassed even though Alex had politely looked away, with only the slightest blush on her cheeks.

“What are you doing here?” Lena asked once she felt comfortable enough to form a sentence without stuttering.

“I stayed the night. Hope that’s okay, but you seemed pretty upset and I didn’t want to leave you alone.”

While she talked, she poured some coffee into a mug and slid it across the counter to Lena. The brunette took a sip and was about to cry again. She couldn’t believe Alex cared for her like that. But then she remembered why she had been so upset in the first place.

“But what about Maggie? Didn’t you want to celebrate your engagement?”

“She had to work until early in the morning, so we’ll have to do our own celebration another time.”  
Lena nodded slowly.

“I wanted to make some breakfast, but coffee was literally the only thing you had.”

“Uhh… I know. Do you want to get something from the place across the street while I shower and put on some clothes?” Then she thought about what she’d said. “Forget it, you probably have more important things to do and I’m keeping you from it.”

Alex just laughed and grabbed her phone. 

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Lena used these few minutes to make herself as presentable as possible. She gulped down the coffee, took a quick shower and put on her only pair of jeans and a blouse, because she thought that Alex might like it on her. Then she shook her head and tried to remind herself that Alex would get married soon and that her efforts were useless. 

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and she hurried to let Alex in. Lena could’ve sworn that Alex’s gaze wandered down her body once she’d turned around, but she didn’t want to interpret anything into it.

“So… do you want to talk about it?” Alex asked into the silence that had formed between them.

“I- I can’t.”

“You know you can tell me if there is something wrong or if you need someone to listen.”

“I know and I appreciate it, but maybe another time.”

“When I swoop in to save your ass again?” Alex asked with a laughter and bit into a croissant.

“Saving my life is all you’ve ever done,” she mumbled, but Alex heard her.

“Driving you home when you’re drunk is barely saving your life.”

Lena quietly sighed and forced herself to look into Alex’s eyes before she spoke again.  
“No, I meant before that.”

“At the renaming ceremony?”

“Well, that too, but before that.”

Alex looked at her with a frown. 

Lena sighed again. Was this the moment she would reveal her secret? She didn’t feel uncomfortable in Alex’s presence and sharing would most likely help her get over it. But to her, it was still one of the hardest things to do.

“A few years ago,” she started slowly, her voice rough with unshed tears, “after Lex went crazy and everything went downhill with the Luthor family, I fell into a deep hole of depression. I had nothing left. No friends, no one on my side, no one I could talk to. And I was trying to tell myself that it would get better at some point but it didn’t. And then one day, one of my experiments killed two people in a lab explosion.”

Alex drew in a sharp breath. Her eyes were wide open, but she stayed silent, giving Lena enough time to talk on her own.

“I was only 20 at that time and I… and I didn’t know how to live with the guilt.” She trailed off for a second, looking towards the window. It was a beautiful morning. “I decided to end my life.”

She could see how Alex eyes widened even further each second. She took a deep breath before she continued.

“It was New Year’s Eve and Luthor-Corp was hosting a party. After drinking a lot, I wanted to go up on the roof, with the intention to jump, but I bumped into someone.”

“You spilled your drink on me,” Alex whispered.

“And I was standing at the edge and I wanted to do it, but you had forgotten your phone and it started ringing and your smile wouldn’t go out of my mind and I hated it. I got distracted and decided to bring you your phone back but I never found you again.” 

“I was so sure I left it in the taxi,” Alex mumbled, clearly lost deeply in her thoughts. 

“A few days after this I got a new job opportunity and my life got not great but bearable. I met new people that actually cared about me so I never tried it again. I’m not sure if I ever would’ve really done it. I wanted it but I was also so scared.”

After finishing her story, Lena finally dared to look up again. Shock was written all over Alex’s face and her eyes looked teary. Lena honestly hadn’t wanted to make her cry, but Alex was already on her way over, hugging Lena as tight as she could. They’d never been that close to each other, but Lena leaned into the touch and buried her nose into Alex’s hair.

“I don’t even know what to say,” Alex admitted after a while. She let go of Lena again and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Thank you for telling me this. And I’m so sorry that happened to you.”

Lena simply shrugged. She didn’t know what to say either.

“This is actually the first time I ever told anybody and it would be nice if you could keep it to yourself.”

“Yes, of course.”

Alex pulled her in again, for another hug. They stayed like this for a while, until Alex’s phone rang.

“Oh this is Maggie. She’s probably wondering where I am. I should better get home.” She quickly grabbed her jacket. “Are you okay being alone right now?” she asked, which put a tiny smile onto Lena’s face. 

“Yes, you should go home to your fiancée.”

The redhead quickly nodded and put her jacket on. When Alex reached the door, she turned around again to look back at Lena with determination in her eyes.

“But whenever you’re feeling down, or like you don’t belong here or whatever, please call me. Doesn’t matter what time, okay?”

Lena agreed and with a short wave and a small smile, Alex was out of the door.

Instantly, the brunette slumped back down on the couch. The past twelve hours seemed to unreal that she didn’t know if they had actually happened. But she had finally told Alex and she felt relieved. It felt as if she could breathe again after a long time under water.

After that morning, Alex and Lena started spending more time together. Lena would come to girls nights more frequently and sometimes they’d even spend time together, only the two of them. Spending hours in the lab, talking and testing different theories. Lena knew she couldn’t have Alex the way she wanted, but she was happy nevertheless.

One day, Alex came into the lab in the morning with an envelope in her hands.

“Personal delivery for you,” she said with a wide grin on her face.

It turned out to be a wedding invitation and Alex was so happy and cheerful about it, that Lena had to smile as well. So maybe her heart was aching, but at least Alex was happy.

After a while, Lena had started trying to date again, but her heart wasn’t in it and neither was her mind.  
She hired a new CFO for L-Corp, a woman named Sam, who was wicked smart and certainly attractive and charming. Lena thought that if she had met her a few years ago, they would’ve hit it off right away. But now she was here. And Lena considered it, but as much as Lena wanted it to work, Sam wasn’t an Alex.

They still became somewhat of friends, though, and soon enough, Sam got integrated into their little group of friends.

It was after a particularly tiring week, Lena wanted nothing more than to sleep and not have any contact to any humans (or aliens). When her phone rang, she was determined to ignore it. But when she took a quick glance at it, she saw that it was Alex. 

“Hey, everything alright?” she asked instantly, because Alex usually wouldn’t call this late without a reason. She heard sniffing on the other end and it made Lena’s heart race before anything had even been said.

“Maggie and I broke up,” Alex said in a small voice. “Can I come over?”

“Of course!” Lena rushed to say. She immediately got up from her bed again to change into something less embarrassing than her pyjamas as she waited for Alex to arrive. She had no idea what this could mean. They were going to get married next month! Lena’s heart beat extremely fast as she paced up and down the hallway next to her door.

When she heard a quiet knock, she instantly opened it and was met with Alex falling into her arms, sobbing. They stayed like that for a few moments before Lena managed to get her to the couch.

“Do you want to tell me about it?” she asked softly and pushed a strand of Alex’s red hair behind her ear.

“She doesn’t want kids. Said she will never want them,” she hick upped once. “I wanna be a mom, Lena. I want it so bad.”

Lena’s mind was racing. She didn’t have much practice in comforting friends. And usually Alex was the one who knew exactly what to say.

“You’re going to be a mom and you’ll be perfect at it. I promise! You’ll find the right person and you have so many people to support you, you could even do it on your own.”  
Alex nodded and continued sobbing into Lena’s shoulder.

They sat like that for a while, neither of them saying anything. Alex’s soft sobs were the only sound in the room.

Lena wasn’t sure what had happened, but they probably fell asleep at some point, because the next morning she woke up with a crook in her neck and someone heavy on her chest.

Lena didn’t really think of this as her time to ‘seduce’ Alex. She didn’t think about dating her at all.

Very slowly, Alex became her old self again. It took some time and Lena was grateful for every small smile the redhead had to offer.

They grew closer again after this, not much different than it had been before, but certainly with more touches. It slowly drove Lena mad, but what was she supposed to say when Alex decided to nap on top of her once again?

She’d given up hope that there would ever be anything other than friendship between them. But she found herself dreaming about it nevertheless.

“I heard you should kiss someone when the clock strikes midnight. For luck,” Alex said, who had suddenly reappeared next to her with two glasses of champagne.

“Do you happen to need some luck right now?” Lena asked and it was probably the champagne speaking.

As the crowd counted down from ten to zero, Alex’s eyes didn’t leave Lena’s. There was a curious smile on her face.

“Actually, I might be in need of some luck,” she whispered.

“Me too.”

Their lips locked as the clock stroke midnight. Everybody was cheering and Lena felt as if they were cheering for them. Kissing Alex felt more overwhelming than she would ever have thought. It was so different from all the times she had imagined doing this. And just as quickly as it had happened, it was over again. Alex slowly pulled back, her cheeks reddened and her eyes shining brightly.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” she said a little out of breath.

“You did?” Lena asked and her voice sounded a little higher pitched than she would’ve hoped for. 

Alex nodded and flashed her a gorgeous smile, the one that was only reserved for special moments.

Lena felt as if she was getting a heart attack, and just to be sure that this wasn’t one of the many dreams she’d had, she pulled Alex in again, kissing her and tangling her hands in her hair, and showing her exactly how much she’d wanted to do that as well.

It was New Year’s Eve again. Lena didn’t know what it was about this day, that always seemed to follow her. She was on her way up to the L-Corp roof, because Kara wanted to see the fireworks from up there.  
Kara had also forgotten her bag of snacks downstairs, which was why Lena made her way up all alone. She’d started to like this roof over the years. Often, she’d come up here to watch the city, listen to the distant sounds of it.

Lena walked the last few stairs up, happy that she would get a few seconds of silence before Kara and the others would join her. It was like meditation for her. Standing up high over the city and knowing that she had everything now that she had wanted all these years ago. 

But when she pushed the door open, she realized that she wasn’t alone. Alex was crouching down near the edge, trying to keep some of the hundred candles burning.

“Shit, you’re here,” she said and tried to stand up. While doing so, she knocked the candle down and it went out again. Alex groaned and Lena had to laugh, even though she had no idea what was going on.

“Why are you all dressed up?” she asked as she stepped closer, trying not to step into a candle. She gestured at Alex’s red dress with a smile.

“I was trying to be romantic,” the redhead mumbled. “But it’s too windy.”

“Aww, I still appreciate it, darling.”

Alex smiled, “Good, because I’m not turning back now.” Lena first looked at her with one eyebrow raised in curiosity, but within seconds her eyes went wide. Alex sank to one knee, as gracefully as the dress allowed it and smiled at Lena like she was the only person in the world.

“I have an entire speech prepared but I really can’t wait so let’s start with the important question,” Alex rushed to say. “Lena Luthor, would you make me the happiest woman alive and marry me?”

Lena couldn’t contain her smile as she smashed into Alex with full force to kiss her senseless.

It was New Year’s Eve, and it would forever be their day.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think!
> 
> I'm currently waiting for inspiration to come back to me. I have so many unfinished/finished but unedited stories it's insane. Well, I hope y'all have a happy New Year and that you'll keep reading my stories if I ever post them :)


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